by Rodney Marett
In our spiritual walks with God, we have constant conversations with Him. We pray. We worship. We sing. It’s something that He wants and asks us to do…communicate with Him. In this communication, we know what WE are saying but are we always 100% sure what the Almighty is saying to US?
Let me share with you a situation last year where I desperately needed to hear God’s voice clearly. Last August was the fifth year of Gideon, but because of my job as a contractor in Iraq, I was unable to get home to help Lori with the conference. For those not too familiar with the conference, Lori is my wife and co-director. So, Lori ran the conference by herself with lots of help from friends and faculty and she did a great job. After the conference, Lori told me, without hesitation, she said she would never do another Gideon without me. Which at the time gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling, thinking that the conference can’t run without me? So, I promised that I would not leave her again.
Then, in the fall, LifeWay decided that they were backing out as our primary sponsor. Because LifeWay had been our major sponsor for five years, this was a big deal.
So, when LifeWay said no more, Lori was relieved. I think she actually danced a jig, it was quite amusing. She was happy. I’m not sure if you realize how much work goes into putting on a conference like Gideon. Yes, it’s only 5 days but the preparation is the other 360 days. It’s a constant motion kind of thing. Always looking for free advertising… Looking for cheap this and low cost that… Trying to find the right faculty member…Getting the best quality films. And we do this with a very limited budget, especially, since LifeWay is no longer involved. Oh, did I mention that we work on Gideon year around and we don’t get paid. Over the past five years, I think the most that we have ever received was a couple hundred dollars. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, when Lori and I started Gideon, we didn’t start it to make money. We started it to honor God and bring this type of conference to the east coast. So, you get the point that Gideon is a lot of hard work. And it becomes frustrating trying to direct the conference, many different things play into this frustration. I think Lori or I QUIT Gideon about 100 times a year.
With me in Iraq Lori is a single parent for 2/3 of the year. I’m only home 4 months which adds to the stress level of directing Gideon. As for me, I’m split in half, Gideon is like another child. Lots of love and hard work go into it but seeing the seeds that were planted starting to grow is amazing and you sit back with your mouth wide open and just stare at what God is doing in Christian media. So, I did what any good Christian man would do when he is at a crossroads. I got down on my knees and prayed asking God for a sign to either continue with Gideon or move on to something else. At the time, I believed I heard God wanting me to continue running Gideon and I told Lori this. And as she always has, she supported my decision since God told me.
Fast forward to today…I’m really questioning whether I heard God right. We have little to no sponsors. The sponsors that we have talked to seem very interested but in the end, fall short of making the commitment. We’ve signed a contract that we can’t cancel and if we did, we would be out of tens of thousands of dollars. The reason I started working overseas was to help get us out of debt. Unless we bring in 200 students, we’ll be back in debt.
What about the signs from God that led me into this decision? People were calling and emailing saying they wanted to be involved. I felt like God opened the door wide open after our visit to the hotel in Orlando. So, you can see why I’m questioning whether I heard God correctly. Maybe, I’m just inpatient. I know it’s all in God’s timing but He is really cutting it close this time.
The point of this blog is not for your pity or your money. The point is do we really hear what God is saying or are we using what we want in lieu of what God is saying? In this case, I’m not sure.
“Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3